Vultar

09:30 am: Dear Mr Secret Agent Man
So after reading about this I figured I'd see if I could get an FBI record too!

...plus I hate flying, so I'd like to get on that whole "no-fly" list. I'm pretty sure it means the FBI will just drive me where I want to go...

So here follows my deathly serious threat against US President George "New-keh-ler" Bush:

If I met George W. Bush, I would like... totally give him a wedgie...

Do you think the FBI will expect me to pay for gas?

10:32 am: My first slash fic... *rawr*

This is a sensitive, emotional piece about the hardships of love between accessories in the Kingdom of Loathing...

Mr E. saw Mr A. and said "omfg your hawt!". Mr A. said "I noe d00d. Want to fuq?". Mr E. said "Yar.".

Then they had teh secks.

The End

02:05 am: "Love on the internet" ... or... "zomfg hawt seks"

The following events will remind you why you're glad you can switch your PC off.

Ambs Comma Teh says: Usually only creepy guys want to talk to me on MSN... no offense...
Vultar says: PLz leik omfgbbqwaffles yur so hawt!!1!1!
Ambs Comma Teh says: omg cun we plz cibir?!?!?! I wunt u so bd!1!eleventy!
Vultar says: noe!!1!!1!  plz letz hav sekz instead!!?1!1!!x/y!!1!
Ambs Comma Teh says: K! *gits nikid an hz teh sekz w/ u*
Vultar says: liek cumz on yu and lieks it!1!!1!Exclamation Mark!!1!!!
Ambs Comma Teh says: duz nt cum cuz u suk... goz of 2 fuk slf...
Vultar says: fuq u hore!!1!!1! Yur momz sekz wus bettar!!!1!!9.8m/s^2!!1!!!11pi!!1!!!
Ambs Comma Teh says: haha u fukd a crckhed
Ambs Comma Teh says: u hav crckhed cutiez
Vultar says: U fuqd urself soe now u hav dum kidz!1!!!1!!!
Ambs Comma Teh says: ur a faq
Vultar says: hore
Vultar says: ***Vultar_teh_hawt_fuq_4523 has logged off

No 13 year olds were harmed during the making of this conversation.

03:56 am: Is that ... the time?!
There's a little bunch of numbers on the bottom right of my screen. They're saying 03:50. I hope this in no way implies that it's 10 minutes until 4am.

In other news, ferrets in false beards.

12:49 pm: The life of a Carpet Shark
It began as any other day on the carpeted plains.. but today would be different. Today the Carpet Shark would strike fear into the very core of all the creatures that roam these magnificent fields of fibre....